Survivors Need Real Support in Worcester—Demand Action & Accountability Now.
As a survivor of a lifetime of violence and exploitation, I always fought to find my value in this world outside of my body. It remains a struggle today—still needing and wanting as every human does—to be valued, seen, heard, and believed. I was abused and exploited by Billy Riley, the Program Director of the St. John’s Food for the Poor Program, for years as the community watched and no one intervened.
Billy perpetrated abuse and wielded his power in front of volunteers, the police, food pantry patrons, Father John Madden, and others who came there to provide services for those experiencing homelessness, and everyone ignored the violence prostituted women were experiencing.
The abuse we experienced spanned years and was visible to many. Since coming forward about the abuse we have received many messages, from people we knew as well as strangers, thanking us for coming forward, telling us they believe us, and that they themselves witnessed what happened to me and many others. People think that this is comforting, but it’s enraging that they are choosing to say this now but never stepped in to interrupt or report what happened to me then.
It should not be hard to understand why we didn’t report what happened to us. He was powerful, and we were people dependent on the services and resources they offered. People watched him pick up countless exploited women—even bringing them home to live with him—in exchange for access to our bodies. Nobody acknowledged what happened to us, nobody cared enough to stop it, and the invisibility and disregard we experienced lives within me and I fear I will never escape it.
I have worked hard in this community for the last seven years to show up for other prostituted women and shed the assumptions people had of me. I have sacrificed my privacy and shared some of the most painful experiences with this community so we could do better and be better for my sisters.
I used myself to humanize others who were prostituted because we are a community and world that lacks empathy and compassion. And to create change, I had to lay myself bare. People rave about my strength and resiliency, but I am tired and broken fighting a battle I am unsure we will ever win. I thought that if people understood how I ended up on that street corner, knew of the trauma that led me there, understood that my substance use disorder was a coping mechanism, we could shift our community to be kinder and actually see prostituted people as the complex humans we are—survivors of violence, not complicit counterparts.
I can’t decide which was my biggest mistake. Was it believing that the work we have done mattered? Believing that maybe we finally mattered? Believing that we belonged to and were a part of my community? Believing that others would want the abuse of exploited people to stop? I feel like I have been wrong on all accounts. That has been the most painful part of this; learning that we still don’t belong or matter to anyone though I desperately want to.
This process to stop the abuse happening at St John’s Food for the Poor Program has been brutal. The investigator is untrained and insensitive. Survivors have been forced to answer questions that he could easily get the answers to and explain violence and trauma that I had worked hard to put away. You see, I have been asked to explain every detail of every brutal interaction while Billy was able to evade the interview process for weeks and Father John Madden is intimidating witnesses. We are asked to prove what happened to us while they lie, mislead, and evade all of the lies able to be deconstructed by the investigator, but the investigator chooses to believe them despite evidence available to demonstrate witness intimidation while disbelieving survivors as we are telling the truth.
Since my first interview with him months ago now, he couldn’t seem to separate the fact that I am a victim of this abuser from his desire to use me to help complete his investigation. He needed to be reminded multiple times that I am not here to do his job but to share my experiences of violence at the hands of Billy. In addition, in our subsequent interview, he was unable to tell that I clearly needed a break as we were nearing what felt like an incredibly long time. I had completely peeled the label from the water bottle I had been given. Any trained or even remotely kind or sensitive human could see I was overwhelmed. Here I am a victim, yet I have to prove what happened to me in order to get this investigator to believe what I am sharing. Apparently, a decade later I am still viewed as a liar, complicit, and a dirty whore.
The night after my second interview, I sat up trying to corroborate pieces of my truth because I left that interview feeling like I wasn’t believed. Once again I was able to find corroboration of what I shared within an hour. The question is why am I doing that work and not him? Why is it on a reporting victim to find corroborating information instead of the investigator? Why am I willing to participate in these super traumatizing interviews but the perpetrators can cancel seven interviews while the Diocese continues to pay for his vacation despite overwhelming proof that Survivors are telling the truth.
I watch as members of our community share these quotes on their social media telling others to “Believe Survivors” but then tell me they have to wait for the results of the investigation before taking a position. You don’t get to do both. You can’t “Believe Survivors” but also wait for an investigation that is being dragged on unnecessarily. Currently, the investigator and the perpetrator are on vacation while the Survivors are receiving threats against ourselves and our families. Does anyone care? Is anyone with some power in our community willing to stand up and demand they do better?
The St. John’s Food For the Poor Program is being overseen by a corrupt perpetrator willing to intimidate victims to cover the abuse. This is one instance we have physical proof to back up. Imagine how others in need of food are being treated. Survivors need our community.
We need people to stand with us always—not when it’s simply convenient for you and your campaigns; not when it benefits you to stand on our backs to advance your agenda but NOW. Our community should not be sacrificing exploited women and reinforcing that we don’t matter by staying silent.
Do something—anything. Believe Survivors is more than a convenient hashtag it’s an action. Take action.
#MoreThanAHashtag #Allyship #BelieveSurvivors
Will you take action now?
The LIFT Board of Directors has drafted a letter to demand action and accountability from the Archdiocese of Boston and Cardinal Sean O’Malley, and we are looking for members of our community to sign on in support of these requests.
Review the Letter
LIFT is a nonprofit organization committed to ending the sex trade. Our mission is to end systems of prostitution through the implementation of the Equality Model. Led by and for survivors, we’re building a world where survivors are valued, equal members of the community. Their voice and choices are honored implicitly. Our vision is a world where systems of prostitution no longer exist and people no longer feel it is their right to purchase access to another human’s body.
Website: https://www.liftworcester.org/
FB: @LivingInFreedomTogether
Instagram: @LIFTWorcester
Twitter: @LIFTWorcester